UBA... Make is simple!

From EnquirerMag Website

Friday, 1 July 2016

Bursted YahooYahoo Boy Confesses, ‘’No Job, So Am Trying My Talent In Web Technology’’

The hopes of a yahoo yahoo boy who introduced himself as Felix and claimed to be working as one of the Customer Care Representatives of Diamond bank was dashed yesterday as the smart alec was hunted down completely by his supposed victim. His voice has been flying round on whatsapp and other internet audio platform as he fooled himself while trying to play on the intelligence of an obviously wise woman of Igbo decent who took him to the cleaner, ‘’this your 419 has gone hay wire, so you think am the type you can swindle’’, the wise lady who had set him up on a recording mode with her husband lambasted him. According to the voice of the fraudulent dude who claimed there’s no job, so, he has to practice his talent on the web by trying to dupe innocent and unsuspecting victims of their hard earned money, the young man had placed a call to the woman feigning to be working with Diamond bank and would want to know if she had requested for a password change on her account. Had the woman who coincidentally is a banker (according to her in the conversation) fell for the bait, she would have been lured to fill a form where full details of her account will be stylishly demanded to ease their evil plans of hacking the account with a view to stealing her money. National Enquirer serves you the crystal clear voice of the spiv and excerpts of their conversations as brains tackles intelligence: Felix - Hello. WiseWoman - Hello. (In a draggy voice) Felix- Yah… good evening ma. Woman – Good evening, who am I on to? Felix - You are on to Mr. Felix from Diamond online. Woman – Mr. Felix from Diamond online… ehn ehn… how may I help you? Felix - Yes ma, okay, we just called you with the Customer Care Line but it seemed the network was kinda bad. Woman - How may I help you? Felix - Ok, we got a mail from you trying to change your password. Woman - Huh huh. (Skeptical) Felix - And from my end, we found out its not actually from your mobile device. Woman – Huh… on which of my account? Felix - On your Diamond mobile, the one you are using your Diamond mobile for. Woman - On which of my account now. Felix - The current account ma. Woman - The current account, what about it. Felix - You tried to change your password, we wanted to be sure if you were the one who requested for that password change. Woman - Ehn ehn. Felix - Am with you ma. Woman – Am… am with you too so. Felix -ummm okay, you tried to cancel that you never requested for a password change on your mobile banking. Woman - No. Felix - So we wanted to be sure if you are the one, because it was actually place on hold. Woman - Okay, so what's the next action as you have confirmed? Felix - If you’re not the one, what we will do is to send you a registration code for confirmation then we will unlock it ma. Woman - Are you telling me it’s blocked? Felix - If it is what? Woman - Are you telling me that you guys have blocked my account? Felix - It was temporary blocked, so we wanted to be sure that’s why you are placed on this call. Woman - So what am I suppose to do now? Felix - I will send you a registration code for confirmation, then since you said you are not the one who authenticated that password change, once we verified the code, you will have a new mail where you can setup a new security questions on your mobile app, and then download the new upgraded one to get your mobile app more secured ma. Woman - Which of the branches are you calling from? Felix - This is the customer security centre. Woman - From where? Felix - Ikoyi branch, Awolowo road. Woman - Ikoyi branch Awolowo road? Felix - Yes ma. Woman - What's your portfolio, what's your designation there? Felix - Am a Customer Care Representative. Woman - You are a Customer Care Representative? Felix - Yes ma, madam, the only thing I need to do is to attend to you, send you the code if you are interested in your account being unlock, you will get the code now and equally get a mail from us. Woman - And if am not interested? Felix - it will actually be locked until you visited any of our branches, but I will advise you to unlock it. Woman - I will rather visit any of your branches. Felix - Okay ma, thank you for choosing Diamond bank. Woman - So this your 419 has gone to this level, ehn. Felix- I don't know what you’re talking about ma. Woman - So this your 419 has advanced to this level, Felix or whatever you 419 call yourselves. Felix - Ma , what are you talking about? Woman - I said so your 419 has advanced to this level, that is what am talking about. Felix- How madam? WOMAN - So your 419 has gotten to this level? Felix- In what form are you talking about ma? Woman - In the form that you are calling me now, spending your airtime and talking to me about my Diamond bank account. Felix - Okay, I think the best thing is to visit our branch ma.. Woman - 419, who told you I have a Diamond bank account in the first instance, Onye oshi. Felix - Onye ara Woman - 419 calling me onye ara, onye ori. Felix- onye ara. Laugh.. Woman - Make you no go find work oo. Felix - There's no work, we are still probing the people to get the looted money, hope you are not one of them. Woman - Can you imagine, onye ori. Felix - Because if you are one of them, I will handle you over to EFCC just like FFK. Woman - Onye ori, Customer Care Manager my feet. Felix - I didn't say am a manager, I said am a Customer Care Representative. Insults in Igbo language.. Felix - Oh you are a fellow banker, which of the branch. Woman - You are asking me which of the branch, does it matters. Felix - It matters now so that we may run business. Woman - Oh we may run business? Felix- Yes now. Woman - Which kind business, make we run now. Felix - Legit business now, I want you to be my account manager. Woman - Ehn ehn how? Felix - You tell me the bank so that I will open account with you now. Insult in Igbo. Felix- Yahoo people dey get money o. Woman - Dem dey get money, na who fit fall mugu now. Felix - So which of the bank you dey? Woman - Ehn Felix - Which of the bank you dey? Woman - So you don gree say you be yahoo yahoo? Felix - Am just using my talent in a web technology. Woman - So you are just using your talent in a web technology? Felix - Hello , which of the branch are you? Woman - Does it matter? Felix - I want to open an account with you now. Insult in Igbo.. Felix - Give me your bank, let me open account with you period. Insult in Igbo. Felix - Okay.. bye bye now, it’s nice talking with you, take care.. Insult in Igbo... Felix- Bye bye e don do, you don code now..

No comments:

Post a Comment

Rochas Okorocha's Frantic Last Minute Moves

There are indications that the governor of Imo State,  Rochas Okorocha is making drastic moves to save face over what could be termed as h...